As far as United Nations World Tourism Organization is concerned that the tourism activities linked with commerical activities at early stage.Businessman initated the travel access mainly.Shangqiu City in Henan province in China is the origin of civi

As far as United Nations World Tourism Organization is concerned that the tourism activities linked with commerical activities at early stage.Businessman initated the travel access mainly.Shangqiu City in Henan province in China is the origin of civi
As far as United Nations World Tourism Organization is concerned that the tourism activities linked with commerical activities at early stage.Businessman initated the travel access mainly.Shangqiu City in Henan province in China is the origin of civilization.And China Shangqiu City is the birthplace of Chinese business culture,which has become the consensus in the Chinese and foreign historians,and has been concluded.Thus,tourist and scenic spots in China Shangqiu is also the birthplace of culture.This conclusion is also a large number of written records and physical evidence,and was identified by the Chinese Culture Promotion Society!
As far as United Nations World Tourism Organization is concerned that the tourism activities linked with commerical activities at early stage.Businessman initated the travel access mainly.Shangqiu City in Henan province in China is the origin of civilization.And Shangqiu City is the birthplace of Chinese business culture,Chinese and foreign historians make a consensus for this point,and this point has been proved.Thus,tourist and scenic spots in China Shangqiu is also the birthplace of culture.This conclusion has a large number of written records and physical evidence,and was identified by the Chinese Culture Promotion Society!
这样子，句子生硬的地方指出来，

As far as United Nations World Tourism Organization is concerned that the tourism activities linked with commerical activities at early stage.Businessman initated the travel access mainly.Shangqiu City in Henan province in China is the origin of civi
内容不了解,但只从语法上说,没什么问题,可以使用
追加回答：又仔细看了一下,虽然对内容了解得不是很透彻,但在最后一句中This conclusion has a large number of written records and physical evidence,我认为原意应该是“有很多.都支持这个结论”,所以改成This conclusion has been supported by a large number of written records and physical evidence应该更好些,

恭喜你！ 没有错误

initated
stage Businessman
mainly Shangqiu
civilization And